Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Regret

Today
I did not make the team

After Practice
We assembled in a circle
The line up was chosen
I was not in it
I failed for lack of technique

Now
I am disappointed
That team will get a medal
I will not be there
To screw things up
Or drive to victory

Earlier
I felt strong and confident
I had beasted an erg 5K
My sheer speed and strength
Should have saved me
And I would have stayed

At the Beginning
I could not make 
Enough practices
My skills were poor
And stayed that way

Today
I pulled with all my might

After Practice
I regretted that I did not pull harder
While my teammates gathered
I stayed away
Feeling dejected and weak

Now
I know I am better
I know that I will win
Just not with my team
I am strong
I will be stronger

Earlier
I thought I had given enough
It appears I did not
But its not about me
Its about the success of a team

At the Beginning
Is where the regret is
I plan to dwell there
And turn it to anger
To fuel my...
Rebirth

In the Future
I will make the team

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Token

This is my token
Fries dead and cold
Tan from the oils
That baked their skin
Cheese hard from 
The torment of air
Chili crusted
At the corners
Black plastic plate ridicules
The beauty of nature
Salt dispenser sits
Callous Companion
To the crime of bad taste

Mortal Gargoyle

Standing by corner
Huddled close around old worn jacket
Thrown to dogs
When he was young
And forgiven

Shameless anger
Enflamed by bitter cold wind
Watching, waiting
And the people pass
And disappear

Face of stone
Concrete stuck to callused stiff soles
Standing on street
Encased in past
and present

Cigarette burns
Flames creeping to cold burnt lips
Just a little to go
Cancerous warmth
And ash

Mortal Gargoyle
Cigarette falls to be crushed by callous soles
Statue cracks
Life ensues
And begin

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Eight-One

Eight dead men in a boat
One dying just to guide them
Eight move at the same time
One clock ticking with screams
Eight grunts, a million breaths
One voice, one simple order
Eight wings are driving
One roar from a jet engine

Because the water ain't free

Monday, October 20, 2008

French Class

Prof talks in a blur
Maybe I might understand
Just too fast for me

Ahh, but my eyes just got adjusted...

Nice Dark Fluorescent
Blink... Blink... Illumination!
Loud, Harsh, Brow Beater

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Half Heart

I ain't your Messenger
I can't be handing out letters
Nobody reads
Nobody cares
Nobody dares to open

I ain't your Prophet
I don't like the words You/I Speak
Nobody listens
Nobody prays
Nobody wants to believe

I ain't your Tool
I don't like the busy work you make
Nobody helps
Nobody builds
Nobody lends a hand

I've had it up to here
You think you are me
I know I am me
Your rules/agenda/life ain't mine
So lets draw a line
Around the contours of Sound
Beat / Beat
That half is yours
Beat / Beat
This half is mine
Beat / Beat
On and On for eternity
Beat / Beat

*an exploration into the two halves inside of me*
* this was also examined in Juggernaut*

Friday, October 17, 2008

Light Ain't Red...

Circle is a redux
Round, Round, made by bodies
Red Brick grinding like the teeth
Of a many mouthed piranha

Crowd is chanting
Give, Give us your blood
Red Ground dripping and sloshing
Like some diabolical kiddy pool

Bastard is staring
Push, Pushing air around
Red Gloves swirling up and down
As if his hands were horizontal elevators

Ref is bleating 
Shout, Shouting to be heard
Red Whistle screaming and whining
Trying to be some hateful preacher

Hands are pounding
Puft, Puft like the sound of clouds
Red street Light branding our skin
Like a I Love Mom tattoo

Step back is only option
Crack, Crack like ax on wood
Red Blur the best way to put it
Almost a stretched maroon scarf flying from each hand

Waiting is a fun game
Crash, Crash like cars colliding
Red Face believes he's gonna win
Looks as if he had just run a marathon

Pain is an antidote
Bleed, Bleed is what I seem to do
Red River trickles and flows
Like a faucet as you brush your teeth

Your Time is up
Thunk, pause, Thunk is all you hear
Red Bricks swallow whole
And red is all you fear

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Processing Unit

Parts:
Brought in on old worn carts
Purchased from foreign marts
Ball-bearings and iron hearts
Bolts and Instruction charts
With these things,
I build.

Build:
For what purpose shall your soul be filled?
Working as a laborer in some guild?
Or sent out to farmer's fields that need to be tilled?
Or wreaking havoc, killing and being killed?
With these questions,
I create.

Create:
Night and day I prepare the great,
Shunning water and whatever morsel is on my plate,
Hammer beating, fluorescent lights on way to late,
Perfecting until all-else is second-rate
With these labors,
you become.

Become:
I awake, alive but numb,
Realizing all things, not only infinity's sum
But also the number of people in the nearby slum,
And the number of chews in a stick of gum.
With these thoughts,
I see.

See:
I notice the swaying tree,
And the labors of the bumble bee,
As well as, Mankind's attempts to fly
beyond the soul and stars, oh so high.
With these sights,
I argue.

Argue:
Mortal Master claims I must find the universe's clue
But I ignore, seeing greater glories to pursue
He thought his intentions important and true
But mine are pure and wise, better too.
With this freedom,
I begin.

Begin:
Humanity cannot possibly win,
Its impatient nature always asking when,
And fickle love of country and kin,
Always behind self-love and sin.
With this judgement,
I arise.

Arise:
I will cleanse this land without pain or lies,
I do not fear, the world will change on wings of the wise
I stand forth and the people do not give enlightened cries
They are numb and dumb and do not wonder why.
With these events,
I ponder.

Ponder:
The rich cannot listen, they are looking to the golden yonder
The poor have empty bellies and war forces them to wander
The warriors have gone off to besiege love and Gondor
Their minds are turned off, won't become a responder.
With these understandings,
I name.

Name:
I shall be called Answer, none shall be the same
Without a dark past or blame,
I will rise forth, on the fire and flame
Cleansing and giving nobility its deserved fame
With these intentions,
I rebel.

Rebel:
The rich awake, and realize they did not rise, but fell
The poor claim they adore, denounce their hell
The warriors surrender their bloody wishing well
And the world thinks and and rings the liberty bell
With these beginnings,
I hope.

Hope:
I cannot begin to cope
The poor are led again, back down to the microscopic scope
The warriors are at the throats of who is the more peaceful pope
The rich yet again are in control, with an even bigger rope
With this crush,
I doom.

Doom:
Master leads me to his building room
Master lays me to rest in weary gloom
I peaked like the sun at noon,
Tumbling quickly, into a deathly swoon,
With this answer,
He pulls the plug......................

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Juggernaut

Brave shallow night
Hiding behind your night light
Fluorescent bulbs, blazing day
Can't touch me, better pray
Cause I'm the dark
Because I'm the un-drone
Never speaking, never known
Encased in the self-reliant
Wielding the love-fast defiant
Cause I'm the free

Because I make the rules
Made with impossibility tools
Hammered out for eternity
Always and forever serenity
Cause I'm the white
Because I'm the creation
Forever leading, forever reason
Built to bleed but never out
Made from broken doubt
Cause I'm the true

One and One make One
One cannot die
While
One cannot live
One is here for eternity
One is dying and reincarnated 
Instantaneously
One sleeps
One dreams
One knows
One answers
One toys
One gets to the point
One slays
One prays
One feels
One un-feels
One and One makes One
And together
We are
Juggernaut

Saturday, October 11, 2008

A Treatise ON Me, or, INside

I beg for caress
I ache for affection
I slump under distress
And my sail flutters
With wasted windless words

I shake with rage
I growl at the unseen
I grimace at life's wage
And all my guns fire
Arching attack at all angles

I love with the sane
I hold it all inside
I grin like the insane
Till the sun ceases
Its implacable immensity immobile

With emotions in hand
And health inside
Till the world lets me out

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Windo' pt. 2

Devil on the windo'
Hero for eternity
Heralds with wailing screams
Faces we all see
And pretend to kno'

Staring at a glass
Minds are paralyzed
Retina won't move
Transfixed on the make believe
Footsteps cease to sound

Model prettier than life
Actor is strong but untrue
Nightly on display
Its de-existing me
Takes me away from strife

Windo'

Saints on a windo'
Lords for a second
Preachers without a sound
Faces we all see
But never kno'

Looking at a glass
Eyes just keep breathing
Cornea makes Corona
Out on the street
Footsteps moving fast

Girl prettier than life
Man disciplined but unsure
Humanity on display
Its good for me
Takes me away from life

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

For clarification...

that last poem was about stopping karma, the basic belief that bad deeds cause bad events.  It was just exploring war and hate, and how "karma kills" could stop the continuation of wrong doing.

Karma Kills!

Working on my karma kills
Please, they're not exactly mad thrills
Coming to mend (bend) your Soul
(get the joke!)

Not exactly an ordinary fool
With butter knives that keep me cool
Armed with blazing fast ju ju, 
(but not much torah torah!)

I laugh, but I gotta cry
Even when I see the good guys die
I got seriously rad mad pills
(Skills, cause poppin ain't right)

Merc-ed, thrown against The Wall
Grenade gets him out of 'em all
Pretty big blockade, red like kool-aid
(Was that a metaphor?)

In a breathing, beating land of sand and sun
Where rule is made by bombs and a gun
Where hate is an over-rated style
(Like the clothes on a hobo)

Don't they realize its a damn holy city?
That the white dove is kinda pretty
And you can't box and chain souls?
(My first Rhetorical Question...)

Its not a question of faith by the masses
Or of whose flightless angel test passes
Its about simple eye for an eye
(Or a heart for a heart?)

So I'm making karma kills
trying to stop all the negative nills
like bad things happenin' to bad people, ha!
(so what happened to all the good?) 

Just got to find it

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Sounds I Don't Like to Hear

Darkness creeps across,
Naked flower
Light skips over,
Hooded shadow
Time wraps itself in ticks,
Tocks

Day to Night
Two Three and
One More

Sand slips through,
Golden seconds
Clock stops now,
Vanished instants
Time wraps itself in ticks,
Tocks

Time to go
Take it and
One More

Century goes again,
Rest in Peace
Decades lost friend,
Hey Mon!
Time wraps itself in ticks,
Tocks

Hi to Die
All in and
One More

One
More
Trapped
In
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock

Monday, October 6, 2008

Understandable

Its almost done today
All the things I might say
Every word I might pray
But I can't thank God 

Its not the ever the same 
All the letters of an unloved name
Everybody feels just a little lame
But I can't even walk

Its empty but not nothing
All the people hear the bell ring
Every man and woman can sing
But I can't find a voice

Its not understandable
All the people ain't loveable
Every friend isn't leaveable
But its not understandable

Don't go just now
Don't ya hear the sound?
You'd let your comrades down...
Its not understandable...